Hello everyone. This is my blog for my stay in London!
Well I'm leaving pretty soon (Monday). I finished this quarter with a few brain-smooshing caffeine-fueled all-nighters and now I'm pounding down the final stretch. Just gotta finish packing, say my tearful goodbyes and I'm outta here.
I'll miss everyone, but this will hopefully be a good way for you to feel like I'm still amongst you, or you with me?
Anyways, while I was going through my checklist of things to do before I leave, I decided to write a running away letter. I know my parents know I'm going to London and coming back, but I figured, what better chance am I gonna get to write something like this? I plan to write it and place it on their bed the night I leave. So here it is. Enjoy, and welcome to my blog.
Dear Mom and Dad,
I’m running away to London. I’m leaving you. It’s nothing personal; it’s just that the thought of being home instead of in London makes me want to vomit.
Mom, I love you. You’re the best. But it’s time this Pidgeot learned how to Fly, and I’m leaving Kanto! I’m running away. I’m outta here. No more telling me to get a job so I can pay for my X-box live account. No more having to wait while Mom cleans the bathroom. None of that garbage. I’m a GROWN MAN. I’m off to London to study LIFE. Gone are the days when I come home to find my bed done all up in that infuriatingly cute little way, or my closet color coordinated. I know it’s all a mind game. I see THROUGH that. I’m leaving.
If you want to reach me in Europe to beg for me to come back, or to tell me how awesome life was with me and how miserable it is now, here’s the number. But they do things differently here. Instead of a phone number they have something called a “Bank Account Number” but don’t get confused, it’s the same as a regular phone number. Just pay the small fee, usually between $500-10,000 (that’s like 4 bucks over here) and then click “deposit”.
The envelope also contains more of my back hair. Keep this in a safe place. If I die, which in all likelihood I will, have me cloned and sent to Nasa for the Super-soldier Program. I would do it myself but they started sending my letters back unopened along with this other letter containing an order to appear in court (something about threats and frightening government officials or some bullhonkey, it’s not important.)
With that I bid you goodbye, or as the Brits would say, “Hasta la vista”
This is it. I’m leaving now.
Love,
Benji
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4 comments:
I don't think half of the people are going to understand your twisted humor, Benji!! lol! But I still think it's hilarious!!
Lol!!!! I love you and your cynicism. It must be a recessive family trait.
Benji, you make my days brighter, Cazane :)
hahaha!! That's awesome!...
Don't come home Benji...I heard some guy in a suit with a mustache came by your house looking for you.
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